Thursday, December 18, 2008

The Road That Has No End!


Wow, I can’t believe time flew by like a wind while we all were busy blogging twice a week and post comments on other peoples’ posts. It has been really fun class for me and the most of all great learning experience so far. It is very interesting that in eight week of period we have learned so many different topics in one class related to culture, relationships, superstition, environmental issues, talking about cars, politics, safety, fashion and much more. I learned so much from this class academically as well from other bloggers topics and ideas.

This class has been a wonderful life time experience that someone like me can have especially when I am ready to leave behind my classmates, friends, family,and most important person in my life and move on with my studies at VCU starting January 2009. I am also thankful of Professor Julie Peluso for showing me the unique way of writing and helping me with my final piece. I believe writing blog can help me a lot while I am at VCU sitting alone in my room and thinking about my family. I am planning to keep blogging and try to make my hobby as I have suggested in my final paper. I hope to keep talking on relationship but this time it will be more about long distance relationship and been away from family and friends.

I hope that everyone in class will be keep posting in order to stay in touch with each other. I would like to thank everyone who visited Washington Blog and shared their comments and ideas. I hope everyone has great holidays and new year. May be this is a time for those who are in relationship to do something nice for their loved ones and show them how much they love each other and the fact that ups and downs are part of human life. and relationship. And no to forget that relationship without fights, arguments and nagging is not a relationship. Love your partner and never hesitate to talk about your conflicts and always keep the door of communication open.
Best wishes for the holiday and new years!

Tuesday, December 9, 2008

Tips How to maintain a happy, loving Relationship despite of Long Distance (Part II)



According to The Center for Study of Long Distance Relationships, their estimates show that that last year there were about 3.5 million couples in United States who lived apart from each other for reasons other than marital disagreements. That number [approximately 3.5 million] is 29% of all marriages in United States according this same research. When compared to another study done 8 years ago, there are approximately 839,000 more people in a long-distance marriage than in 2005 (Guldner). There was a 30% relative increase in the rate of long-distance marriages between 2000 and 2008 [2.36% of marriages in 2000 and 2.9% of marriages in 2005] (Guldner). Newlyweds, according to the research, have an even greater chance of being long-distance early in their marriage with one study of 600 couples showing 1 in 10 were long-distance during some portion of their first 3 years (Guldner).

As I have mentioned above, long distance relationships are becoming more common. Since 2000 there have been 839,000 long distance marriages in United States. There was a 23% relative increase in the rate of long-distance marriages between 2000 and 2008 [2.36% of marriages in 2000 and 2.9% of marriages in 2008] (FAQ). Greater exposure to far away singles accounts for part of this trend. “People travel for their work, they commute farther, they generally travel more than we did just a few decades ago. All of these things make it more likely that they will fall for someone who does not live nearby,” says Dr. Gregory Guldner, a researcher at The Center for Study of Long Distance Relationships [LDRs] (Guldner).

Without a doubt, keeping a healthy long distance relationship is hard; but not impossible. The researchers offer some tips for people engaged in this sort of relationship. If followed religiously, these tips will help ensure a good relationship and keep it growing without any further stress. It may alleviate the mental and emotional stress associated with distances and help the relationship stay honest and strong.

Stay optimistic: Couples in long relationship need to stay optimistic and always with positive attitude in order to keep relationship strong and happy. This is true for every kind of relationship, whether it is long distance or not, and I can certainly relate it to my personal experiences with my fiancé.

Re-Learn How to be Intimate: The Center for Study of LDRs shows that couples usually spend most of their time talking on phone and sharing their daily life. Study shows that what matter the most is what you say and how they say matters most than how much they communicate. For example, share day to day life, use technology to communicate, write a hand written letter or a card, understands the consequence of talking on the phone, and use reminder of your partner frequently (FAQ).

Some things must be said: Some couples in LDRs don’t like to discuss certain times because of time limit. With limited time they do not bring up some issue that could disturb one’s attitude or weekend. This leads to postponed the important topic and build up frustration (FAQ). To avoid that it is important to take time and talk about those issues.

Do not isolate yourself! Research has found people in LDRs tend to cut off themselves from others. They use work as distraction from the loneliness. They feel awkward in public when they are out. It can make person alone and contributes to stressful life. Those LDRs should take interest in work instead of distraction from loneliness and try to spend time with friend and family while other partner is away (FAQ).

Expect Disappointment: Couples in LDRs should always be ready to expect the ups and downs of time together. Whether it was a weekend together didn’t turn out to be good or a just an argument between them. It is always a part of every relationship to go under some good and bad times while in relationship. Stay positive and expect the consequences as well (FAQ).

I have also discovered some advantages of having a long distance relationship. Free time for both individuals is at top of the list of advantages. Most LDRs allow each other to have more free time to focus on areas of our lives that interest us. The free time can be either a blessing or a curse, and only you can decide which it will become. Use the free time to develop and grow as a person. Think about taking a class, or working on a hobby, or spending more time with friends and family (Couples). Actively work on using the time to your advantage. You’ll find that the more you do, the more positively you’ll view the separation, which is very important to a successful LDR.

Most couples in LDRs describe an enjoyable honeymoon during the first few hours to days of a reunion. This time together allows for a mutual rediscovery of each other and of the relationship. For many people the emotional excitement of seeing their partner begins even before they actually get together. Just planning and preparing for reunion can bring out the exhilaration. Try to enjoy the experience and recognize it as another gift that only your relationship can afford (Couples).

Research shows that couples in LDRs enjoy more exciting outdoor activities than couples who live closer to one another. You should take advantage of the times when you do get together to plan some novel adventures–rollerblading, skydiving, camping–whatever the two of you might enjoy (Couples). This extra benefit of being in an LDR will help offset the occasional disadvantages.

Self-esteem flourishes in an environment that requires self-reliance, but also provides a secure relationship to fall back on when times get tough. For many people the LDR provides the perfect blend of independence and support to nourish self-esteem and personal growth (Couples).

In closing, I have found long distance relationships very interesting. For those who do not seem to control their temper very well, a long distance relationship may just be the kind of relationship they need. It provides free time and an ability to rediscover your other half by communication.

References:

Guldner, Gregory. The Center for the Study of Long Distance Relationships.
9 December 2008. http://www.longdistancerelationships.net/index.html

Guldner, Gregory. LDRs: Frequestly Asked Questions. 9 December 2008.
http://www.longdistancerelationships.net/faqs.html

Guldner, Gregory. Long Distance Relationshipo for Couples. 9 December 2008.
http://www.longdistancerelationships.net/couplesp.html

Long Distance Relationships Part I


Are you in LDRs Situation?


There are an estimated 7 million long-distance couples in the U.S., including 2.5 to 3 million long-distance marriages. Between 1999 and 2002 (the most recent data available) the number of long-distance marriages increased by 385,000. The average couple in an LDR lives 125 miles apart, visits each other 1.5 times a month, calls one another every 2.7 days to talk for 30 minutes, and expects to be separated for 14 months.Source: (The Center for the Study of Long Distance Relationships)
There are good and bad aspects of LDRs and they do effects one’s daily life. Long distance relationships are not new and definitely not easier than traditional/personal relationship. Most of people find LDRs and PRs about some what same amount of effort, love, care, and trust while other feels it is much more commitment for couples. From my personal experience I will say that LDRs are a major stress builder in one’s life and a lot of times it is hard to concentrate on studies, work, and able to live normal life.

Of course, Long Distance Relationships is not a new edition in to people’s life. We all have been separated in our relationship for some period of time. Long Distance Relationships could develop between families because of deployment in military, career wise/jobs, going to meetings, away for school, or just a vacationing abroad. According to the director of The Center for the Study of Long Distance Relationship Dr. Gregory Guldner says; LDRs can create unique difficulties that can result into frustrating struggle for many couples. While research shows that LDRs do not break up or divorce any more frequently than more traditional relationships they can still take a toll on those involved (The Center for Study of LDRs). Long Distance Relationship could be rough and overwhelming but at the same time it can benefit couples growth, maturity, gaining trust and strong bonding.

Long Distance Relationships not only helps one’s to be alone and grow as a person but also provides opportunity in career and educational advancement in their desire field. The study shows that hundreds of student who are in LDRs but geographically close relationship face a lot of stress and botheration by common college hassle. Includes the list of questions related to difficulties in meeting the academic standards. These students found courses more demanding, less interesting and having very little time for assignments. While people in LDRs had more time to use for studies and show more intelligence because they had used their time wisely unlike others spending time on relationship. This example shows that LDRs gives you opportunity to gain advancement in your education. (The Center for Study of LDRs)

Tuesday, December 2, 2008

Potential Analysis Paper Sources

As we are getting close to the end of fall semester I am really getting nervous about my writing and analysis paper. I felt it was very easy class until I find out that there are not enough blogs on relationships. I have started blogging about relationship that I have share with my fiancé and some of the problems that came along in our lives through this relationship. When I started searching for other bloggers I wasn’t able to get enough information on relationship blogs. My stress level is getting high and I am really worried that what my paper is going to be like without relationship information.
My blog’s focus is really on husband and wife, girlfriend and boyfriend type relationship. It seems like there is so much information out there in articles but not really on blogs. I am searching for relationships that compromise, sacrifice, fight and still stay together for each other and the love they share together.

When I first posted information on my relationship blog I was really not sure how it is going to look like. After several other posts and comments from my instructor and classmates gave me great feed back that helped me improve my blog. But it seems like my blogs is just doing okay but not all that good. I have read some articles on relationships but I am not having good luck finding the right blog. As of right now I have two blogs in mind that I have gathered so far for my paper and I am glad to say that one of them is my classmate Ario. She is also writing on relationships but with different point of view. She is sharing her marriage life with her sweet and caring family of six children’s and of course her sweetheart (husband). I am also looking forward to share information from one of the great author Karen Salmansohn. She is the author of 29books including HOW TO BE HAPPY, DAMMIT and HOW TO SUCCEED IN BUSINESS WITHOUT A PENIS.

Sources for final paper:

http://memtma.blogspot.com/

http://www.notsalmon.com/blog.php/

http://www.notsalmon.com/2008/04/fighting-with-your-sweetie.html

http://www.notsalmon.com/2008/04/breaking-hearts-is-not-game.html

http://www.notsalmon.com/2007/06/deep-philosophical-love-lesson-to-be.html


I know this is not enough information but I am keep looking for more information to get start on my paper. Please go ahead and check these websites and give me ideas and suggestion as possible.

Thursday, November 27, 2008

Tips for healthy relationships


To maintain a healthy relationship it is necessary that both partners work together. I cannot overemphasize the importance of communication in clearing relationship conflicts. In our relationship, whenever we come across any conflicts and differences, my fiancé usually takes charge and attempts to start the conversation. Even if I shut my door and turn off my phone to avoid any confrontation he would attempt to get me talking by sliding an apologetic note under the door or something similar.Some very important tips that I found on some reputable websites that I try to adopt are listed below.


Although these tips are found on a website and I am not even sure if somebody has attempted to apply these in their life, I am very confident relaying these to other as I have personally seen the changes resulting from these tips in my relationship.



  • Love each other: Loving each other sincerely and without any strings attached is the most important aspect of a healthy relationship. According to Amy Biggs, a relationships counselor and the author of “What Makes Relationship Healthy?” it is very simple and most effective way to keep the relationship healthy. If there is no love, relationship is just a lust from the beginning (Briggs).

  • Don’t lie to you partner: In relationship trust is another very important aspect between two people which can break and make the relationship. Amy Briggs says that one should be able to trust other in relationship and never hide things by lying (Briggs).

  • Keep good communication: Another relationships counselor, Joyce Woodford, tips good communication as essential in healthy relationships. It means take time to listen to your partner, don’t interrupt while he/she is talking (Woodford). I personally think couples through communication can gain a lot of support, love and care. Especially in long distance relationship communication is the only way to express each other’s feelings and emotions. Both individuals should be open widely towards each other.

  • After facing a fight with each other just forgive and forget: This is what I have learned through my experiences that you just need to forgive and forget once the fight is over. As humans, we can never avoid misunderstandings, because it is just the effect of our imperfections in life. But with that imperfection comes perfection because it is with that misunderstanding that the couple will know each other more (Working Mom).

  • When you have fight don’t stay mad at each other for rest of the day: Always try to forgive each other and come up with solution and suggestions to improve relationship. The longer you stay in a fight, the more time you need for reconciliation. Let us just remember that the more you let someone dying waiting, the less chance of survival and same is true with love.

  • Give and take process. According to Joyce Woodford, one should be able to give and take and not be individually in charge of other (Woodford).
    Swallow your pride: Relationship will never work unless one of them is humble and patience enough to bring him/herself down to end the argument and make it work even though he/ she is not wrong (Briggs).

  • Acceptance: Last but not the least it is very important that one should accept each other the way they are. Don’t try to change other person unless they are willing to change by themselves (David). As I have said above, please keep in mind that no one is perfect and everyone is capable of making a mistake. Accept the little flaws that come with each person. You accept theirs; they accept yours.From my personal experience and through my research I have concluded that it is the little things that make a difference. If we keep an honest relationship, with good communication driven by acceptance of each other there is no stopping from turning an instant love-driven relationship to a healthy long lasting relationship.

Reference:


Frank, David. "How to Have Healthy Relationships." Weblog Entry. Improving Your Life. 13 August2007.24November2008


<http://www.improvingyourworld.com/relationships/how_to_have_healthier_happier_relationships_001441.html%3E.


Working Mom. “15 Ways to Keep a Healthy Relationship” Weblog Entry. Socyberty.14 October 2008. 24 November 2008


<http://www.socyberty.com/Relationships/15-Ways-to-Keep-a-Healthy-Relationship.296359>.


Woodford, Joyce. “Healthy Relationships.” K-State. 10 May 2000. K-State Counseling Services. 24 November 2008.


<http://www.k-state.edu/counseling/topics/relationships/relatn.html>


Briggs, Amy. “What Makes a Relationship Healthy?” K-State. 18 Janurary 2001. K-State Counseling Services. 25 November 2008.


<http://www.oznet.ksu.edu/news/sty/2001/dating4.htm>

Wednesday, November 26, 2008

Few suggestions to keep a healthy relationship


A relationship is a state of being related; whether it be by birth, marriage affinity, or other alliance. According an independently owned Love Advice website you can have healthy relationship with anyone in your life including your family, friends, children and life partner. The only difference between my first sentence and the second sentence, which I paraphrased from the web, is the word ‘healthy’. In order to keep the relationship healthy one should know first what is a healthy relationship? A healthy relationship satisfies both partners. It gives them happiness, care, love, support and security. A healthy relationship tells each other that they have someone who will be there in the time of need, pain and share the happiness of their life.

Relationship takes time and a lot of energy and care in order to make it healthy. Every relationship is unique and different and it can bring a lot of happiness and health to one’s life. The K-State Counseling Services did some further research and their study proves that people with healthy relationship have more happiness and less stress.
According to Kansas State University Research and Extension family systems specialist Charlotte Shoup Olsen, a couple can look at three clues to find out whether their relationship is healthy or unhealthy.
* Does each partner simply like the other?
* Does each partner have a mutual honor and respect for the other?
* Does each partner want to be connected with the other?

When I first meet my fiancé I instantly felt the love, care and support that a girl would expect from a husband, boyfriend or a friend. In my relationship I feel very secure; we are happy and care about each other. I feel very comfortable talking to him about anything and discuss our point of view on certain things. I specifically like Charlotte Shoup Olson’s quote, “it’s important to remember that no partner is ideal”. Our relationship may not be ideal but we understand that we are two separate individuals and we are going to be different. Just like any other ‘normal’ couple, we share conflicts and find differences between us time to time in our relation. But the key to a successful relationship, as I discovered on the Socyberty website’ article 15 Ways to Keep a Healthy Relationship, is providing love, honesty, good communication, forgiveness, compromise and acceptance. I try to adhere to that rule to make my life happy and my relationship healthy.

“Some of the biggest challenges in relationships come from the fact that most people enter a relationship in order to get something: they’re trying to find someone who’s going to make them feel good. In reality, the only way a relationship will last is if you see your relationship as a place that you go to give, and not a place that you go to take.”(Anthony Robbins)




To be continued...

Tuesday, November 18, 2008

Time to quit for better………..

I do not remember a day when my fiancé and I went by without arguing to convince each other that I am right and you are wrong. We argue on different things like education, work, family, food, friends, and small thing like when to go to bed at night and why? Sometimes arguments make sense if they are logical but sometimes it is just a matter of understanding between two people who share different views on certain topics. I agree that arguments can usually waste time and most of the time it brings unnecessary tension between two people, which can lead to a bigger problem later on. I think in our relationship we both think sensibly person and understand when it is time to quit before we can get into a serious problem. That, I believe, is one of the most important aspects of our relationship. Sometimes I just do it for fun to tease him and then kiss his angry face and try to make him smile.

In every relationship one should be smart to stick around its limits and understanding when to stop the argument and not make the environment uncomfortable. Argument should be dropped when you know things are getting to the point where it is important to let it go for better without creating any tension. Every relationship has some tough times and problems with in-laws, finance and even your partner. According to Philip Van Munching, a marriage counselor, it depends on people involved in relationship on how to solve their issues and make it work to gain healthy relationship. For many couples who cannot solve their issues, he suggests help from relationship professionals and counselors. Of course, a counselor cannot guarantee a healthy relationship unless you do something yourself but at least they can guide you in the right direction. On the other hand, some people are capable of solving their issues without getting any counseling or help from other people.

The problem usually takes place over small things and turn into an argument which often leads to a fight. The best way is to not argue when you are really angry because chances are you will not be getting any attention. And that can build up tension in relationship and harder to solve the issue later on. Dr. Munchung says, “talk in lower voice and stay calm… don’t criticize and be straight forward”. I totally agree with him that you should explain your reason politely and help each other to solve the problem without getting into a fight.

A full interview of Dr. Philip Van Munching could be accessed at the link below that deals with relationship problems and helps us in understanding how to deal with these issues. He answered some of the question couple usually ask themselves over and over while going through hard time in relationship.

Watch the videos and try to work on your relationship issues. And don't forget to comment!!
http://www.videojug.com/interview/arguing-in-a-relationship
http://www.videojug.com/interview/big-relationship-questions

Tuesday, November 11, 2008

Bribed me with nice workout and free lunch

It is so funny to see guys trying to do everything possible out there to win the heart of their ladies. But as much as it is funny for us to see them struggling doing their thing it becomes disturbing when it clears up to be a bribe to spend time elsewhere. Some guys, including mine, do little things to make their girls happy just before a Red Skins game, going out with their friends, going to play pool for couple hours or just playing basketball with their buddies. It is always strange for me to understand why men like to bribe their wives, fiancées and even girlfriends before they want to go out and spend time with “their boys” or if they want to play their favorite sport. I think it is very reasonable and simple to tell your significant other half what you intend to do whether it be activities with friends or just meeting with friends to play pool, basketball or a quick drink. I think there will not be any confusion or conflicts if the communication doors are open from the both sides.


My fiancé is just like any other guy out there if not the worst. It is so unusual for him to call me on Sunday morning and ask me if I want to get up and meet him in gym and then later go for lunch but we need to get done before 1:30pm. I had always told him that I do not want to wake up so early to go workout when we have all day to do that. His reply was that I should stop being lazy and should meet him at the gym in 15 minutes. I said to myself, “wow, how nice of him to think about me and my health first thing in the morning”. I got up and went to workout with him for an intense hour and swim for another hour. By the time we left the gym he was racing his car to get something to eat and while he is driving he is calling his friends one after another. It was bothering me that we just worked out and now he is acting weird and instead of talking to me and decide where we are going to eat he is on phone with his friends. And not to forget I was told to pick the place to eat lunch. Finally, when he was off the phone for few seconds I tried asking him what is going on is everything okay. Who was on the phone and why are you meeting at Gar-field Senior High School on Sunday. He said, “baby, I am going to play cricket with my friends in 20 minutes and since I am the captain of my team I have to make sure everyone shows up on time”. Not only that, he also told me that he had to give ride to a few of the guys. I said, “okay, may be we could go out for a dinner since you are in hurry”. He replied, “ No I can’t, because I will be playing until later tonight and I have to arrange the lights as well so we can play until after dark”. That was when I realized he was just bribing me with nice workout and choice of my favorite place to eat lunch. I figured that the only reason he woke me up early, talked sweetly and spend time with him so later on he doesn’t have to hear me complaining about us not going to gym or doing any activity together over the weekend. I felt really bad that instead of doing that why he didn’t just tell me that he wanted to spend time with his friends so he could play his favorite sport, cricket.

I know this is one thing he really likes doing even when he is tired. He doesn’t care if it is cold, hot or snow but as long as he can get his friends together he can spend all day playing cricket without any food and drink. It is his passion and something brings a bit frustration into our relationship when he is not willing to do anything else on Sundays but cricket.

Why men can't apologize?

Being a woman, I am comfortable saying that most men have a problem apologizing to their wives or girlfriends. Whether it is a forgotten birthday, anniversary, dinner date or even coming home late, they would try their best to dodge the apology. This is where a husband or boyfriend could play a friend’s role. They could make us feel better and show that they care by saying, for example, “baby I am sorry for being late and not notifying you. It was because of work load or last minute meeting that took extra time and I didn’t realize what time it was”. Let us be honest, how many times do we actually hear that? Instead of apologizing they just zoom out on you and try to find a reason to make it seem like a fault of mine.

I am one of those women who always spend hours and hours thinking why my fiancé is having hard time apologizing me for his mistakes. I tried asking my fiancé many times about his hesitation to apology. I also shared with him that I do not feel angry because just because he made a mistake. I get angry, or rather hurt, when he does not even realize that he made a mistake. To top it off, instead of trying to fix the matter by just saying I apologize for whatever happened other night at dinner, he tells me, “Why do you want me to run after you and apologize. You know how much I hate to say sorry. Let’s end it here and just move on”. Move on? To where and how? It hurts me even more when he once compared me with everyone else out there. I told him that by saying that he made me feel unimportant and the fact that he is not sorry could make our relationship weak. I was waiting for his answer but he turned around and said he didn’t want to argue with me and made the matters worst.

Why our men are so difficult about accepting their mistake and willing to apologize? Sorry: a word that carries so much weight that most of us often contemplate, for hours, whether its use is warranted. Yet speaking it contains enough power to potentially save your job, restore a relationship and, at times, unite countries that were once at war.

Still, it's never easy to say sorry. Alas, most men fail to use this simple five-letter word often enough. May be it is their pride that gets in the way. "Sorry" means admitting we were wrong. And men don't like to be wrong. So it's easier to simply avoid saying it. Like Henny Youngman a British born American comedian and famous violinist said, "If you're going to do something tonight that you'll be sorry for tomorrow morning, sleep late." A Georgetown University Linguistics professor Deborah Tannen, PhD, author of "I Only Say This Because I love You", further elaborates on this issue in the quote below.
“men often worry about out being seen as weak, so they don't like admitting fault. They see apologizing as a form of public humiliation and a move that makes them more vulnerable to criticism. Plus, they just don't see the point. "For many men, words don't count as much as actions, which is why if they’ve done something wrong, they'd rather show their remorse by not doing it again.”

For those men [including my fiancé] who really have trouble getting it across their lips, I have discovered a web site devoted to the cause, called The Perfect Apology http://www.perfectapology.com/. I really liked their bottom-line for all the women experiencing this issue with their spouse: “don't hold your breath for the "S" word. Make him aware that he has upset you, and then keep your eyes peeled for signs of penance”.

Sickler, Van and Shannon Colavecchio. Why can't guys just say they're sorry?. 11 Nov
2008

Wednesday, November 5, 2008

Life partner ..not a MemoryCard

I promise to myself that I will try to be a better person and listen to him. I will try to make our time together as nice as possible. I will remember to not get mad so quick. I agree that people get stuck in traffic or get caught with extra work last minute. One might agree with all of the above. Well, I ask my fiance most of the time, "Baby why does it happens when we are already planned to go some where or particularly scheduled to go out for a dinner or just for movies. He replies, I have a full time job and I am very busy with school and between Navy. So I get busy and loose track of time. His all time reply why do you like to be so organized and like to plan things in advance. But wait it even gets better when he turns around and blame me for not reminding him about our activities or plans for the day or even weekend.

Just an example when he is not paying any attention to our conversation yet he remembers that I was talking about my co-worker wanted to switch shift on the Friday. So I had called him to make sure if we had any plans for weekend . Sure enough he did not pay any attention so he said oh yeah you should help your co-worker by switching the shift. Well, i went ahead and called my friend Kelley to tell her we can switch shifts. After my class on Saturday I was schedule to work 3pm to 10:00pm. I get call around 2:50pm when i am on my way to work asking me what time I would like to go to movies. I paused for a second and thought to myself and realized he did not pay any attention when I was talking to him just a day before. Finally, I told him I am almost at work and doesn't leave until later in evening. His reply to me was Ooh I thought you were off on Saturday. Why didn't you tell me baby.

I have to agree that since I am in relationship more than five years there wasn't a day when I didn't act like a "Memory Card" or took a blame from my fiance that I neglected to give him call and reminded him about something. For once I just wish that he remembers that we are going to movie on Friday night at 7pm or Saturday morning I have a class at NOVA Annandale not at Woodbridge campus. These things really don't matter what matters the most is that he cares about his other half and that he is serious. I don't mind if he is running late but why can't he just pick up the phone and tell me instead of blaming me for different reasons.

An essential tool to any relationship is trust and best communication and I think it takes both partners to participate to get positive and healthy results. Everything is possible in this world and all it takes to make it happen is strong relationship.

Tuesday, October 28, 2008

What is Love?

Something that i think is very true in each and every relationship of human life. People do come close to each other and then things changes like a weather that you don't expect. People fall in love without thinking about their future and life that they are passing on. In a blink of an eye it happens and changes the rest of their life but before they open their eyes everything is gone what they had dream about in that touch of love ones. Love makes you crazy everyone agrees but love makes you worthless and full of worries no one agrees with that once they step into it.

People learn it a hard way and then come to a situation where they are seriously in position of losing someone and afraid of living through. Maybe i have a same fear and i just can't get over the fact that it has to happen sooner or later. Lovers adore and praise about each others words and things they do together but their is a point when everything seems falling apart and nothing seems right no matter how hard you try. Things change so do people and their life style. Nothing is unexpected but it is hard to live through each others rules and fulfill their request. People love talking about their future and having a life time together but there are those who just sit and get angry over stupid stuff.

Once I was told that love is a huge responsibility and it is something that brings shine and life becomes full of happiness.Love is a game if you play it right you will win the Gold Pot but if you mess up you will be dog down for ever. Love is a name of compromise and willing to except any circustances every step of the way. Love is a search of life that you spend together and live through for years. Love is a treasure which makes you rich in your happiness and keeps you happy when you are in tears.What is love when it leaves you in tears? What is love when it makes you depressed and hate yourself and feels like you want to go far away to get out of this life?What is love when you need someone and they are not there for you?What is love when it causes the pain and suffering?Love makes you miserable and full of anger. You like everything about each other when it is new only because you are just getting to know each other.After a while they hate everything you do and most of all they like to boss you around. Love is like a flower pot if you filled with too much water it will die. Love is like a boiling water if you leave it for too long it will reduce and love is like a car if you abuse it you will loose it.

There are very few people who are in real love and by saying that does not mean that they don't have problems. They fight, argue, disagree and hate each other but it doesn't mean they want to get rid of each other. But it does means how strong you should be to handle the fact of love. And by all means you learn as you experience and that's when you know you have to be stronger than that.Love leaves you but you can't leave them.It is hardest theory of the life which gives you pain that can't go away for rest of your life.


Anger and tears, anger and tears
Is that all that's left of us after loving all these years
As slowly as love grows how soon it disappears
In a house full of anger and a heart full of tears

Takecare!
And don't forget to share your thoughts

Thursday, October 23, 2008

My Intorduction

My name is Nausheen Ahmed. I was born in Islamabad Pakistan. I came to United States in November 2000. I came here to study but decided to stay permanently. My entire family lives in US as well. I also met my life partner here and he is in US Navy and who i love the most. I had recently received my associates degree in Criminal Justice from NorthernVirginia Community College and I am on my way to get another associates degree in General Studies by end of Fall semester 2008. I took ENG111 this past summer and really enjoyed with Professor Andrew Young. I am hoping to have same kind of fun and a lot more to learn as we go further in this class. I hope everyone in this class will have fun with this blog technique.
Good Luck Everyone!!
And Don't forget to have Fun:) Happy Halloween Everyone......Boooooooo